Vanderbilt is really old. I’m going to take a stab in the dark, without actually researching anything, and say … oh, about 5,000 years. As is the case with anything old, the University has become the subject of countless stories, some of them true and some of them absolute nonsense. Spend a significant amount of time at Vanderbilt, and you will undoubtedly hear some of these rumors. For instance, did you know that David Bowie’s eldest son, Zowie Bowie (who now goes by his first name,Duncan, for obvious reasons), attended Vanderbilt? That rumor is true; Duncan Bowie enrolled in the philosophy Ph.D. program in the 1990s. (No word on whether he finished.) It’s not true, however, that David Bowie’s role as Jareth the Goblin King in the movie “Labyrinth” was inspired by philosophy professor John Lachs. If anyone ever tells you that, be sure to set them straight: It wasn’t John Lachs. It was former Chancellor Joe B.Wyatt. The underground tunnels led to his goblin den. It’s true. I read it in the Hustler.